YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
