how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
