Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
