i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
