hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
