How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
