I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
