Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
