I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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