Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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