Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize