Jerry, you need to find god
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
