You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize