it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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