I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
