I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
