You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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