Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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