How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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