Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
