I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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