Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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