I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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