you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My ATM looks so different sober.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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