The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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