trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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