Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
