god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
