You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
