I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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