Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
