I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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