Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
