It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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