Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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