She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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