tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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