just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
