Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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