if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
my liver is dry heaving
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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