bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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