Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
