Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How's work?
Spinning.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
