If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
