Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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