Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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