I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
