I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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