Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
