and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
