You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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