The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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