Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
