Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
