Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Farmville is her only friend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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