smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Don't make out with my wife yet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
