Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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