I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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